Secrets Revealed

 

There are a few secrets you may not know about my Dennis. Until now.....

But first, most who know Dennis realize he is a very committed, dedicated and intense person. He is also energetic, animated (so dramatic 😝), and sensitive. 

He's an all or nothing kind of person, a "let's get it done" kind of person, with a "failure isn't an option" attitude!

He's a planner AND a procrastinator. His plans and dreams are immense, and his blueprints and work space to achieve those dreams are an "organized mess" which can be SO annoying to his wife who is also a planner, but likes "clean" organization. 😝

God gifted Dennis with leadership qualities. He is very successful in pretty much all of his endeavors. He can easily rally those around him in the situation he is in in order to accomplish his goals. He is also very tough on those same people, pushing them probably harder than they like in order to achieve the goals Dennis is reaching for. Most who know Dennis, know all of this to be true.

People who are successful usually don't get to that point or continue to be successful by chance. Even with natural leadership qualities, the behind the scenes grunt work is almost always never seen by others.  

            Hence....some secrets revealed about my dear hubby, Dennis 😲.....

Because he has such big plans and is so committed, dedicated, energetic, and intense with the failure isn't an option attitude, a little of the behind the scenes goes like this:

Coaching: 

    Whether it was try outs, practices, or games, Dennis occupied himself finding ways to be the best coach possible. He would watch you tube videos, read coaching articles, google  different practice skills, talk my ear off (as if I knew anything about coaching the sports he was coaching), and constantly texted and called his assistant coaches to bounce ideas off of them. He was non stop searching for ways to do better not only for his sake but mostly to help his players learn and be better! There were practices where he gloved up to be on the field or laced up his basketball shoes to participate in drills and plays on the court, and even ran with the cross country team and tried to keep up with the fastest runners trying to motivate them. Many times this resulted in him coming home limping some days or have to ice a pulled hamstring. But to him it was all worth it.  

    The day of basketball games Dennis would hand his assistant coach a crumpled piece of paper (his "organized mess".) On that paper was a schedule so to speak. They were the names of the players and at what time of the game that particular player was to be put into the game. Dennis spent a good amount of time the day before mapping out a way to allow a fair amount of time for each and every player to be in the game. He also stressed about finding a way to get as many of his players to score at least one basket or get a hit or to beat his best cross country run time. 

    The emotions he felt as a coach always were heart warming to me. Whether a win or a loss he always dissected what he could have done better as a coach to help his team keep doing what they do well and improve what needed improving. The game or the meet didn't end at the buzzer or the finish line for Dennis. He always took it home and looked for ways to be better as a coach to these kids and this effort NEVER stopped for the duration of that particular season. He treated the position he had as another full time job in spite of not being paid as it being a full time job.

Work:

    I'm not on the scene of Dennis' work environment, but I definitely experience the behind the scenes. 

    Work doesn't stop when Dennis walks in our door. He takes pride in doing the best job possible not just for his boss but for God. He pushes his people to go above and beyond but he also fights for his peeps. I don't think they will ever realize how hard he fights for them. He pushes for bonuses and raises for his people. He prays for those who work for him and really does care for them all. Dennis oversees the operations of 14 McDonalds restaurants. If one of his people are struggling in running operations, yes, Dennis will step in and push and ask that person questions as to why things aren't going as good as they should be and hold that person accountable. 

    What his people do not see is how the wheels in his head turn over and over to figure out a way to help his people be successful again in a situation like the one above. He never wants to see someone fail. He never wants to see a person leave the business. And when these things DO happen, he will step in and counsel to help try to find a way to make things better for all involved.

    The times someone does end up leaving, it hurts Dennis; not because it leaves him to have to fill another position but because Dennis wants to make sure that person truly made the right decision for his/her overall sake. And sometimes, multiple times, the people whom Dennis had to let walk away? They actually came back realizing the grass wasn't greener on the other side. 

    One of Dennis's love languages is receiving gifts. Words of affirmation is also up high on that love language list. For his birthday, his supervisors and managers all chipped in and presented Dennis with a brand new Peloton treadmill. I saw one of the the supervisor's FB post stating, "Today we surprised THE BEST boss ever." His people may not know but this really humbled Dennis. He called me and said he just couldn't believe they did that for him. He came home and was still in disbelief. 

Anyway. I could go on and on but I won't (I did that in another birthday blog post for him.)

I just wanted to share a little of the behind the scenes of a pretty spectacular, successful man. The outer shell of someone doesn't tell the whole story.

Happy Birthday to my hubby October 24, 2021 the day he turned 53!

     

    

    

Perspective

A little tale that came to me this morning, the day after Inauguration Day. 

Back in the day, a long time ago before the internet was invented there were these two young elementary aged girls who became pen pals through a church program. They wrote back and forth a couple of times a month for years and years and eventually became the best of friends. Even though they lived in very different environments, they had so much in common in their likes and dislikes and their belief in God bonded them.

 

Sometime down the road when they were both teen agers they decided they wanted to talk to each other to hear the other’s voice. So, they set up a time for at least twice a month where they would talk on the phone. Another one of the things these two girls had in common was that neither of them had ever traveled outside their immediate area. One of the girls lived in a humble cottage in the mountains with a vast view. The other girl lived in a rather lavish beach house on the Gulf Coast. 

 

The girl who lived on the coast decided to call the girl who lived in the mountains on this one particular evening because she knew she would be witnessing a fabulous sunset and she wanted to share the experience with her friend. Little did the girl who lived on the coast know, her friend who lived in the mountains had the most glorious view of sunsets herself and it just so happened that she would be witnessing a fabulous sunset this same evening. 

 

Something happened this evening that neither of the girls saw coming…..an argument. 

 

As each girl described the sunset they were witnessing, they were both adamant that HER sunset was far more glorious than the other. Neither girl would budge on her stance so they hung up both being angry with the other. Each of the girls could not understand why the other could not/would not believe the other when she said, “My sunset is more glorious.” 

 

(Seems like such a frivolous argument.) 

 

A few days passed. Gulf Coast girl had been praying to the same God her friend believed in and wanted to make it right with her friend. She received a revelation. Of course each girl believed her sunset was “better” than the other because neither one of them had ever seen a sunset other than the one in her own backyard! 

 

So, Gulf Coast girl called her friend who lived in the mountains and explained her revelation that she received and told her friend that she was going to save up some money so she could come visit her at her mountain home to witness “her” sunset and asked if she would do the same so that she could come witness a Gulf Coast sunset. 

 

Perspective.

 

Each of the girls indeed witnessed a glorious sunset and they both truly believed it was the ONLY way to see a sunset until each of them took herself out of her own environment and moved herself into the other’s environment to see something in a way they’ve never thought about before.

 

Did either girl budge on her opinion as to which sunset was “better”?

 

Does it really matter? The fact remains that your perspective leads you to believe the way that you do. The way you were raised, the environment you lived in, the dynamics of your family and so on. Your perspective is your perspective and someone else has a totally different perspective based on factors that were probably different to yours. It doesn’t necessarily make you wrong.

 

Again, did either girl budge on her opinion as to which sunset was “better”? Probably not, but the effort that went into at least trying to see where the other person is coming from can “move mountains”. It can help bring understanding to why another person believes the way she believes. Neither girl was wrong. They both just had a different perspective.

 

Remember this when you disagree with someone and you just don’t understand why that person can’t see things your way or why you can’t see things her way. You both have different perspectives.  

And maybe ask God to help you move out of your own head and space for a moment to try to see where your friend or someone who is on a total different spectrum than you is coming from. It doesn't mean your opinion will change but you are at least willing to budge and try to see it from their point of view. 

 

 

Confession

I have a confession to make:

But first,

Nearly eight years ago, surgeries, procedures and recovery due to mastectomy took away about a year of what my "normal" life looked like. And this was withOUT having to endure chemo and radiation.

Working out, being active, typical household chores and more were put on hold for a time. "Normal" activities such as grocery shopping, car pooling, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc slowly were added back in to my life still without much gusto.  Even modified workouts such as walking and the bike were eventually incorporated back in.

 It was probably a year before I could start working my upper body muscles again. The dreaded push up, although always girly style for me, was a thing of the past. I was so weak but push ups, REAL pushups were my goal.  Pull ups would eventually be thrown in there as a goal but years later.  Needless to say, a wall pushup is where I had to start.

Fast forward 7 years, 9 months:

Doing 20 to 25 pushups in a roll is something I am proud to say I can do now and am working on upping that number. Whenever push ups are required for my workout I still modify when I have to but strive to do all of them without my knees on the ground.  They may not always be pretty but.....

Here's the confession part:  So whenever I have a mammogram appointment, the days leading up to it I get down on the floor and do pushups because I start thinking in the back of my head, "If that mammogram result comes back unfavorable, I may get this taken away from me again!"

Yes, I'm a dork.  Well, not really.  Yes the push up scenario sounds silly but if you think about it, we tend to want things more when we can't have them.  We don't realize just how much something means to us until we don't have it.  It's something I'm still trying to work on as a whole in my life; you know, take in and appreciate everything.  One day I hope to conquer this but I doubt it will ever happen on this side of life.  We are always a work in progress!

DejaVu. Sort Of. Obedience - Yes. Intercessory Prayer - Definitely!

Yearly mammograms aren't something I can skip or postpone.  In fact no woman should skip or postpone these but with my history of DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) I wouldn't be doing myself any favors by not following up with these appointments.  This situation felt a little like deja vu from 8 years ago but not completely.

Tues, Feb 21, 2017
was my yearly screening mammogram.  A little apprehension is always going to be there for me.  I don't get scared, I just want to get in, get out and get the results quickly!

The next day...

Wed, Feb 22, 2017 
Dennis is getting ready to leave for work and gives me his ritual bear hug and kiss but it was a little different today especially when he says something like, "I just have so much love for you this morning."  Very sweet guy I have.  About an hour later while working out I get a call saying I need to come back for more tests because something they see on the films is not clear and they need more pics via mammography, ultrasound and/or MRI.  Ugh!  Ok.  But this is okay because back in 2009 when I was called back after my mammo it was clearly because they saw micro calcifications.  This is what started my breast cancer journey back then.  You can read about that journey here if interested. http://teresa-solodon.blogspot.com/2009/10/chapter-of-teresas-story.html

But for now they just need more info.  Could I come in Thursday Feb 23?  Well, I already made a commitment to babysit and Dennis was already taking his dad to the doctor that day.  I didn't want to stress myself and everyone else out by trying to switch everyone's schedules with less than 24 hour notice.  It wasn't life threatening anyway.  Plus, we had a busy weekend with Matthew and his bowling team competing in Regionals both Friday and Saturday.   As much as I wanted to get in, get out and get results, I chose to take a Monday morning appointment instead.  Besides, if by chance results weren't what I wanted to hear, I wanted to wait until AFTER the weekend was done.

I didn't tell Dennis right away because he had a lot going on at work this day and I wanted to wait to hear from my doctor anyway (it was the imaging department who had called me to set up the follow up appointment.) I knew my doctor would be calling me just as soon as he could and sure enough the office did call me a little later explaining that this call back was more about getting more pictures to try to verify what it is they see because they weren't sure if it was a shadow from my implant or perhaps I moved during the screening.  Either way, more tests but please don't worry.

I truly was not scared.  I had peace.

I finished working out and was more concerned than anything about telling Dennis.  He's a trooper but likes to get answers quickly.  Once I told him the news he immediately went in to "fix it" mode, like most men do, by making arrangements for someone else to take his dad so he could go with me on Thursday to the appointment and not wait until Monday.  Bless his heart.  I know how much he loves me.  Here's the thing.  I had a deep conviction that Monday's appointment was fine....that I didn't need to stress out about this.  Dennis and his sister kept texting me asking me if I was sure.  I really and truly was sure. I know how much this bothered Dennis because he hates the waiting game but I believe God's hand was all over this.  God always has a plan in every situation.  In fact I'm confident He has plenty of back up plans too.  I believe God allows some things, events, trials to come into our lives for a reason.  Not to punish, but to help us...we just have to be aware and on the look out for God's purpose.  I'm not exactly sure what the reason was for this hiccup in our lives but my theory is this, actually a couple different things....
       
          Theory one. Recently in our small group we talked about how Dennis is quick to speak and pray but a tad slower at sitting still, staying quiet and waiting to hear the answer God is trying to tell him.  Dennis knows this is an opportunity for him in life and prays to do better. By me "making" him wait until Monday he had no choice but to talk to God and practice listening to Him so he knew what he should do to "fix" this.  This leads to theory number two.  Obedience.

          Dennis heeded what the Bible tells us to do: Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agreed about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."  Not only did Dennis sit and listen, he was obedient and was not ashamed to ask for prayer on social media (Facebook) that my tests would be 100% normal.  How often do we dismiss going public with our belief in Jesus?  Truthfully, at the time I wasn't having the same "Aha, let's all hold hands and pray for a miracle" moment as much as Dennis was.  Of course I was praying.  I had a little apprehension but I wasn't overly concerned , yet. So many women get called back and most of the time everything is fine.  However, Dennis knew better which leads me to theory number three.  Intercessory prayer.

          Let's pretend Dennis humbly went before God to ask what to do in this situation (which is what God wants) but chose NOT to plead for prayer from others for non-cancerous test results.  We could've sat on this and waited until AFTER the extra tests to mention it to everyone.  By doing that, perhaps test results would have been different?  And NOT in our favor?  No doubt God would definitely have used that situation for His glory if test results weren't in our favor.  He's done it before.  I believe it's very possible God used Dennis to ask for intercession in this little hiccup of our life.  I truly believe intercessory prayer can change the results of whatever situation we are going through.  It may not always happen that way, but it will never happen that way if one doesn't even try intercessory prayer at all.

As you probably concluded, my follow up tests came back in my favor today.  After two more mammograms and an ultrasound, the image they saw is that of a benign cyst.  No need for more follow up at this time but just continue to come back for yearly mammogram screenings.

I have a great God.  I have a loving husband.  I am grateful for his persistence this past week.  Being proactive with our health is so important but Dennis took it a step further and was proactive by trusting in the one true Healer.  God is good indeed!

I love you, Dennis.

         

Two Friends - Breast Cancer - Lessons

Michelle.  She has had her surgery and is at the beginning of her chemo treatments.  Round two is today which prevented her from going to the airport to see her son off.  He's a marine.

Karin.  A "sister" who I have just begun to start talking to and getting to know finished her chemo treatments on Christmas Eve (2015)!!!!!  Her next step will be her  surgery.  Her mom is ALSO battling along side her from what I understand.

Cabrini's Pink Out game October 2015

Cancer, no matter the type, does not discriminate.  When hit with it though, something happens; strength one never thought could be mustered is birthed.  Emotions one never thought had, well up.  Appreciation for EVERYTHING takes precedent over bitterness and annoyance about things that don't matter.  I'm not sure if Michele and Karin can relate to all that follows but for me......



       You cry more but you also smile and laugh more.  

You care.  OH, do you care!  You cherish like you've never cherished before.  

       You learn to prioritize and set limitations.  It's not easy at first because you're supposed to be superwoman but eventually you learn at this time in your life, you cannot, 



                                            HOWEVER,


       you do what you can when you can because even though you're tired, you're never ever giving up hope and faith that you're going to beat this.   



You become humble.  Relying on others when you are used to doing it all becomes a way of life during this time.  It's not easy but you go with it and learn to accept the help.


      Your faith in God becomes your strength when you think you can't do it anymore. 


 
    These lessons learned (the hard way sometimes) become teaching tools for the future.  YOU become the supporter.  YOU become the one someone else relies on.  YOU become the blessing to someone else because you "know".  You know what it is like and will look back and say to yourself, "There was a reason.  I was within God's perfect plan that I had to go through that." Someone else needed me too. 


It goes without saying, cancer isn't the only interruption in life that can teach us to learn from the trial we must endure.  I think we are allowed to mourn, yell, kick, scream and claim it's not fair.  Heck, I did!  I always tried to move out of that frame of mind and ask God to renind me why or who I needed to fight this fight for.


I see in Michele and Karin the strength they have mustered up, the emotions they've felt, the appreciation they have, and how they are cherishing life and all that it has to offer; the little things and the big.  As I watch them, they inspire me to embrace my challenges in life like they are because we really do only have one life on this earth to live and I believe God does want us to live it to the fullest. 

If you're in a place in your life that you don't have the kind of faith Michele, Karin and myself have, consider putting your faith in the one Lord, Jesus who can help you through and give you peace in the midst of the storm.  If He's tugging at your heart to turn to Him, trust it's the right time. His timing is always perfect! 



     

Recap of My 2014 New Year's Resolution Challenge - Birthday Wishes

Anyone make a New Year's Resolution for 2015?  If so, what?  

I typically don't make resolutions but at the last minute at the end of 2013, I had this "bright" idea of writing every one of my FB friends a special wish on their birthday in 2014 on my wall for my whole friend's list to see.  Sounds sweet, right?  Just as most people are gung-ho when they first make a resolution, I was too. 
      
      I only told Dennis. 
            I was bound and determined. 

The first couple days/weeks were pretty cool.  Writing those wishes for the first few people was super fun.  I received some precious thank yous from them and just smiled. 

      Fast forward a couple weeks where the busyness of life is back in full swing; school, lunch monitoring, appointments, errands and, oh, my New Year's Resolution!  Check Facebook to see if anyone has a birthday today and sure enough, but, "Oh crap! I don't know this person all that well.  We went to school together but we weren't really friends." 
             So I stalk his/her Facebook page, go dig out my yearbooks, ask Dennis about this person (since we went to the same HS together) just so I can try to remember this particular person and make a sincere wish without pulling hogwash out of my booty.  Success, another wish posted! 

After about the second month, this commitment started to become habit for me.  I would even look ahead a few days to see whose wish was on my agenda so I could think about and plan accordingly when I knew I had a busy day ahead of me. 

   My whole goal here was to breathe life into my friends.  No matter what our differences, what beliefs we shared or disagreed about, no matter what religion, political stance, the idea was to find and share the positives, to share a memory or how this person matters.  Some posts were more difficult only because either I didn't know a person too well (some I have never even met in person) OR I knew that person SO well that it was difficult to condense.  Many times I had to go on what I've read on Facebook, friends' comments, spouses' comments and so forth.  Prayer was my friend.  I often asked God to help enlighten me to say the right things.  I was really starting to take this resolution to heart more than when I started it.  I didn't want to blow smoke up anyone's butt. 

March comes along and I'm out of town with my family for the weekend for a wedding.  I realize I have a couple birthdays to do which I believe I ended up having to do on my cell. 
I think to myself, "I have more than 3/4 of a year to go with this!  What was I thinking!?!?" It's not that I didn't want to do it but man, this is a huge commitment I made.  I didn't think anyone would really care if I just stopped doing but somehow that couldn't be an option for me.  My brother-in-law was at this same wedding and told me how cool it was that I was doing this.  This was confirmation and encouragement for me to keep on going strong. 

             It started coming to a point where this was a part of my FAMILY's routine.  Dennis would ask me, "You have any birthday wishes today?" Or, "How many wishes do you have today?"  It was something I couldn't not do even if I wanted to.  There were times Dennis would come home from work and I'd be at my computer trying to concentrate on a birthday wish and he would be chatting away and then catch himself and apologize because he knew how important it was for me to get it just right. 

Now, truth be told, there was a moment when I wanted to go through my friend's list to see who I didn't know all that well or who didn't communicate with me so that maybe I can just de-friend that person before his/her birthday came.  OR if a friend request came along, maybe I could check their profile to see if they had a birthday yet and not accept until AFTER their birthday.  (I actually did check the friend requests and more often than not their darn birthdays still had yet to arrive but I accepted them anyway.  GRRRRRR!)   There was no way I could've done that.  I would've had guilt anyway. 

       So, I have these friends who motivated me to keep going in another 'sick' way....."I can't wait for my birthday!  I look forward to your wish!"  "I'm only staying on Facebook for your birthday wish."  No pressure there!  Lol!  In all honesty that was motivation for me to keep going and to do this to the best of my ability. 


    Such a challenge.  A bigger challenge than I originally thought it would be.  The reward was so worth it though.  I stalked your pages, your pics, my yearbook, your friends' comments.  I even inboxed a friend now and then to remind me about you.  It made me more aware of every single one your posts, your interests, your trials, your accomplishments.  Hello, there must be some sort of reason you're my friend!  You matter and not just on your birthday.  The birthday wish was just a reminder on your special day that you do matter. 

I have some pretty interesting, loving, quirky, compassionate, off the wall, talented, caring, gifted, giving, friends who make my life that much better for knowing them.  I'm glad I continued on with this challenge.  I know I missed at least one birthday and apologize if I missed any others.  Know it wasn't on purpose.  As for this year's New Year's Resolution, I think it may have something to do with Bible reading and posting Bible verses. 

Happy New Year, folks! 








    

Small Gestures, Big Blessings

        These past couple months I have tried to faithfully honor each of my Facebook friends on their birthday by recognizing them on my own wall about how I know them. My goal is to talk about their positive traits, and what they mean to me. This started out as something I wanted to do for THEM but being almost a quarter into the year, I have found that this has become so much more of a blessing for me. Reflecting back on each and every friend thus far I am realizing just how important every action, word, or deed, no matter how big or small, from someone can impact a person's life. Some friends on Facebook are more of acquaintances. Others are friends from childhood or friends of friends. Some are family members and others are really close friends. I just recently wished two of my friends birthday wishes whose simple acts of kindness after I came home from the hospital from having my mastectomy back in '09' are etched in my heart and memory forever. Other friends' examples of strength, honesty, kindness, grace, and compassion have forever helped me want to be better in those areas of my life. 

      Just within the last hour of me writing this post, I was reminded once again the power of a simple gesture. A couple years ago I was informed of an acquaintance being diagnosed with breast cancer. A friend told me about this person and thought she could benefit from me going to see her, talk to her, share my story (my original blog.) Sometimes being called on like this is so very out of our comfort zone that we might talk ourselves out of doing what it is God is calling us to do. It was easy for me to talk about our story with those whom I knew and on social media (Facebook) but to go talk to someone who I didn't know was definitely an uncomfortable situation for me but after some prayer and asking God for His will I knew I just had to do it. So I did. I printed up my story, drove to her house, knocked on her door, reintroduced myself, and tried to keep things simple and to the point when explaining why I was there. I briefly told her my story and handed her my original blog to read at her leisure but then proceeded to listen to HER initial story of diagnosis. Afterward I gave her a hug, told her I would pray for her and gave her my phone number in case she ever needed anything. A few months had gone by and I didn't hear anything about how things were going. I sent her a card and just continued to pray for her and her family and that all was going well with her and her treatment. Well. Lo and behold, out of the blue Den ran into her husband and one of the first things he said to Dennis was, "Please give your wife a hug of thanks. She was a godsend when we were going through this." 


           Words, acts of kindness, good deeds.....you just never know how big such small gestures mean to someone else. Sometimes you may do something out of the kindness of your heart and immediately you are thanked. Other times you do it and it comes back to you years later of how grateful someone was. It may be that in your life on earth you will never get reassurance of how your act of kindness affected someone but that shouldn't matter. You need to know your Father in heaven sees. Our goal should be to step out and do. Don't miss out on an opportunity to make a difference in someone else's life.  Send that card, make that dinner for someone, buy those groceries for someone in need or visit an acquaintance who received some disturbing news.  It really, REALLY makes a difference in someone's life.