2009 - What a Blessed Year!

I can't imagine what my life would be like without having experienced the year 2009.  Breast cancer was our major hurdle this past year and one could say doctors' visits, surgeons, oncologist, decision making, surgeries and more was the theme of our lives for 2009 but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt without all those "distractions" my relationships with my family, friends and most of all God would not, COULD not be where it is now.

The blessings this year have far outweighed any negatives.  It was my son's senior year and I got to see him play his best basketball game ever against our rival school, home court, scoring the most points he's ever scored!   Amazing!  And although Dennis and I missed it due to an appointment, Chris pitched a phenomonal last high school career baseball game!  Without 2009 that could not have happened.  

Breast cancer struck, literally, in the midst of graduation time for my son.  I admit it was difficult to hold it together a few times, even breaking down at his senior mass, but the satisfaction of watching Chris graduate couldn't have been greater.  Without the events of 2009 I don't know if I would have seen the true colors as I did of my family and friends when they pulled together to put together the "bestest" graduation party for Chris.  My mastectomy was exactly 11 days prior to his party and there was NO way I could have pulled off a party without them.  First of all Den who had to juggle work, coaching, cleaning, cooking, laundry, making sure the backyard looked good for a party.  My mom and Ann who cooked and cooked and cooked chicken.  Ron and Cindy who let us use their backyard for extra space.  Steve who cut the grass the day before.  Cindy and Louise for decorations.  Billy, Steve, Marc and Johnny who were doing their best to push water with brooms and pump water out of the backyard after torrential downpours the night before.  It was a hopeless cause by the way.  Kelly driving me to Party City to pick up the balloons.  A seemingly small gesture but HUGE in my case at the time.  Pam, Erin, Ann and Kelly who decorated.  Laurie, MY LIFESAVER, who managed the whole kitchen scene and made sure the food was cooked and served on time.  Steve and Ann who came back the next day, Father's Day, to help clean up.  I mean, who does all this???


I have met some amazing women, "sisters", this year who are either breast cancer survivors, some still fighting it, and I am better for knowing them.  I haven't had to endure the treatments as some of them have and after hearing what they go through, they are my heros.  How about new friends and old friends I've caught up with through facebook?  Some have sent so many prayers our way I feel they have been on this journey with me.

My husband has a job (not an easy task these days in Michigan.)  I have two healthy boys.  A son in college who continues his education by his choice.  Transportation.  We have a roof over our heads.  A vacation to the beach again.  I met Steve Yzerman!  Was able to get the word out, with the help of Cheri (big time) the message of how important mammograms - early detection is.  I GOT NEW BOOBS!  Lol!  Yes, even though it was by means of a mastectomy, that's one of the funnest things that happened this year.  Dennis leading a men's group for the first time ever.  The freedom to worship at a place of OUR choosing.  Winning the essay contest sponsored by the Breast Cancer Site.  Being able to celebrate Christmas once again with family.  Meals provided by Dawn, Stacey, Theresa & Paul.  Shirts given and lent to me by Ann and Tracey.  Medical insurance.  Dental insurance.  Den's parents and my parents still alive and doing well.  Sister's mammogram came back clear.  And so on and so on and so on.....

I could go on about how many blessings there were in 2009, little and huge. My point is, breast cancer doesn't define 2009 for me. Oh, it was a major part of our lives but in our eyes it was a gift because it brought about too many other positive things for me to say pooey on you breast cancer.  Or pooey on 2009.  (Pooey?  I know.  But that was the first word that came to my mind so I'm stickin' with it.  Lol!)


2009 was a great year because I have grown as a child of God, learning to pray differently, learning to look for the lesson, learning to trust in Him and be grateful to Him for every situation that comes my way.  It is not always easy but I have accepted that that is the only way I am going to get to where He wants me to be.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Gift - I Dare You to Accept

If I were a betting woman I would bet that many of you who start reading this will not finish to the end but I dare you to take the time - not for me but perhaps so you may receive the best gift you have ever gotten.

So, as I'm getting myself ready to attack the to do list I made this morning (to do lists help me get motivated and with Christmas almost here I needed some motivation) all of a sudden I get this nagging voice in my head to share the best gift I ever received which means that instead of putting my shoes on and warming up the car I am sitting here updating my blog.  Don't get me wrong, I want to do what God convicts me to do but it sure seems like He asks me to do it at the most inopportune times.  Sure I could put it off until later but I'm finding it easier and easier to just do it right away so the nagging will stop.

Back in March of 1993 was about the one year mark of Dennis and I trying to conceive our second child.  Anyone who has suffered through infertility knows the devastating emotions that come with it.  Our desire to have another child was so strong.  While many of my friends were pursuing their careers, all I really wanted in life was to be a wife and mom of at least three kids.  My sister-in-law, seeing my anguish, was what many call a Born Again Christian took a step of faith with me. 

Like her, I was raised in the Catholic faith, knew what Jesus did for me, went to Catholic school and I made all my sacraments.  She asked me, "But have you ever really asked Jesus into your heart?"  I was caught off guard and felt quite uncomfortable with this question.  I don't remember what I said but what happened next was one of the best gifts anyone could ever give me.  I can't remember everything my sis-in-law said to me but I will always remember her leading me in the prayer of salvation.  I thought, "Cool.  Now that I'm REALLY a special child of God, I will get pregnant quicker."  NOT!  (Long story short, it was 6 1/2 years before we would become pregnant with our second and last child.)

The reason I share this is because even though I was certain there was a God and that He loved me, I never really took the time to invite Him into my life and get to know Him.  I have many Facebook friends who I know ABOUT from looking at their info page but if I'm honest there are only a handful of Facebook friends that I know more personally.  Why is that?  Because we take the time to GET to know one another.  We take the time to share stories, emails and even invite one another to do things together.  Through those 6 1/2 years of trying to get pregnant, I really got to know God better.  Even though I had accepted Him as my Saviour (which is the first step), there was a lot I still needed to find out about Him and myself.  Reading the Bible and coming to Him in prayer was the best way I got to know him better.  My faith in Him grew and grew through those years so when we finally did get pregnant it was more meaningful and the gratitude was much more than it ever could have been had we become pregnant without doing it God's way.

I look back and realize I thought of God as my genie in the bottle.  I say this because so many people think the same way and give up on God.  They say they believe, ask for something through prayer, don't receive what they want and say something like, "Well, I guess God isn't all He's cracked up to be".  Many people get nervous, uncomfortable, scared and won't take that step of faith to invite Jesus into their life because they fear they're going to become a "Holy Roller" standing on street corners preaching about salvation.  Some think they're going to have to leave their current church or the faith they grew up in.  Although Dennis and I now attend a non-denominational church, we still send our children to Catholic school.  Christianity is not about denominations or where you choose to worship, it's about a relationship with Jesus.  Some hear the words "Born Again Christian" and think they're going to have to give up the fun things in their lives and become these dull, boring people.  Um, have you met my husband, Dennis?  He's a Christian and there's nothing boring about him!  I call it being a follower of Jesus and it's Him who will bring about any changes in you.  He does it, not you.   

I am pretty certain when you hand a gift to someone this Christmas they're going to reach out and accept it from you just as you will receive gifts from others. The best gift you can ever receive is ready for you to unwrap right now and that gift is Jesus.  Don't make it complicated.  Just receive it.  That's the catch - YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THE GIFT.  God will not make you take it.  So many people are hurting and struggling when the answer is right there in front of them.

My gift to whomever reads this particular blog is to share a prayer of salvation similar to the one my sister-in-law prayed with me back on March 6, 1993.  It was the best thing I could have done and I hope you take a moment to really reflect on this prayer and let it sink into your heart and spirit.

Dear Lord,

I admit that I am a sinner. I have done many things that don’t please you. I have lived my life for myself. I am sorry and I repent. I ask you to forgive me. I believe that you died on the cross for me, to save me. You did what I could not do for myself. I come to you now and ask you to take control of my life, I give it to you. Help me to live every day in a way that pleases you. I love you, Lord, and I thank you that I will spend all eternity with you.
Amen

Merry Christmas!

Restrictions Lifted and Perhaps a Special B'day Gift in March

Just got back from another post op visit with the plastic surgeon.  I didn't have huge expectations because I've learned and accepted this is a long process which must not be rushed.  Ultimately it is teaching me to rely more on God and less on me.  It is teaching me patience which I thought I had enough of.

My last visit a month ago left me disappointed when the doc told me I still had major restrictions as far as working out or going in the jacuzzi and that nipple reconstruction wouldn't take place until January 2010 (was hoping for Christmas.)  I was pretty deflated then.  I eventually got out of that funk and was a "good girl" and only did what was allowed so as not to ruin my plastic surgeon's masterpiece.

Going in today I cautiously hoped and prayed I'd be given clearance to start doing more intense work outs like I used to.  It's a part of my life that has been missing for six months.  I already knew whatever was told to me was for my own good so if clearance wasn't given then so be it.

I AM ECSTATIC RIGHT NOW!  I was given something back today that breast cancer took away from me for awhile!  Doc gave me clearance to start incorporating weights and aerobic type exercise back into my routine.  I do have a minor restriction - no push ups or other types major chest exercises.  But so what.  I hate doing push ups anyway.  Besides, he explained to me these types of exercises could ruin the cleavage I now have.  We can't have that now, can we?  (Again, TMI?  Sorry.)

I don't need to see the plastic surgeon again until February which in itself would be great news, however this means nipple reconstruction is prolonged for an even longer time than originally anticipated.  A little disappointment crept up but was very short lived.  I GET TO WORK OUT!  And, I have a birthday in March so perhaps I will receive a "one of a kind" birthday gift next year.

I'm still not done with appointments for this year.  I see the surgeon who performed my mastectomy in December and resulting from that appointment I will probably need an MRI to check to make sure no cancer has returned.

Going to work out now.! And yes, I will ease into it.  I promise!