I have a confession to make:
But first,
Nearly eight years ago, surgeries, procedures and recovery due to mastectomy took away about a year of what my "normal" life looked like. And this was withOUT having to endure chemo and radiation.
Working out, being active, typical household chores and more were put on hold for a time. "Normal" activities such as grocery shopping, car pooling, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc slowly were added back in to my life still without much gusto. Even modified workouts such as walking and the bike were eventually incorporated back in.
It was probably a year before I could start working my upper body muscles again. The dreaded push up, although always girly style for me, was a thing of the past. I was so weak but push ups, REAL pushups were my goal. Pull ups would eventually be thrown in there as a goal but years later. Needless to say, a wall pushup is where I had to start.
Fast forward 7 years, 9 months:
Doing 20 to 25 pushups in a roll is something I am proud to say I can do now and am working on upping that number. Whenever push ups are required for my workout I still modify when I have to but strive to do all of them without my knees on the ground. They may not always be pretty but.....
Here's the confession part: So whenever I have a mammogram appointment, the days leading up to it I get down on the floor and do pushups because I start thinking in the back of my head, "If that mammogram result comes back unfavorable, I may get this taken away from me again!"
Yes, I'm a dork. Well, not really. Yes the push up scenario sounds silly but if you think about it, we tend to want things more when we can't have them. We don't realize just how much something means to us until we don't have it. It's something I'm still trying to work on as a whole in my life; you know, take in and appreciate everything. One day I hope to conquer this but I doubt it will ever happen on this side of life. We are always a work in progress!
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, February 27, 2017
DejaVu. Sort Of. Obedience - Yes. Intercessory Prayer - Definitely!
Yearly mammograms aren't something I can skip or postpone. In fact no woman should skip or postpone these but with my history of DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) I wouldn't be doing myself any favors by not following up with these appointments. This situation felt a little like deja vu from 8 years ago but not completely.
Tues, Feb 21, 2017
was my yearly screening mammogram. A little apprehension is always going to be there for me. I don't get scared, I just want to get in, get out and get the results quickly!
The next day...
Wed, Feb 22, 2017
Dennis is getting ready to leave for work and gives me his ritual bear hug and kiss but it was a little different today especially when he says something like, "I just have so much love for you this morning." Very sweet guy I have. About an hour later while working out I get a call saying I need to come back for more tests because something they see on the films is not clear and they need more pics via mammography, ultrasound and/or MRI. Ugh! Ok. But this is okay because back in 2009 when I was called back after my mammo it was clearly because they saw micro calcifications. This is what started my breast cancer journey back then. You can read about that journey here if interested. http://teresa-solodon.blogspot.com/2009/10/chapter-of-teresas-story.html
But for now they just need more info. Could I come in Thursday Feb 23? Well, I already made a commitment to babysit and Dennis was already taking his dad to the doctor that day. I didn't want to stress myself and everyone else out by trying to switch everyone's schedules with less than 24 hour notice. It wasn't life threatening anyway. Plus, we had a busy weekend with Matthew and his bowling team competing in Regionals both Friday and Saturday. As much as I wanted to get in, get out and get results, I chose to take a Monday morning appointment instead. Besides, if by chance results weren't what I wanted to hear, I wanted to wait until AFTER the weekend was done.
I didn't tell Dennis right away because he had a lot going on at work this day and I wanted to wait to hear from my doctor anyway (it was the imaging department who had called me to set up the follow up appointment.) I knew my doctor would be calling me just as soon as he could and sure enough the office did call me a little later explaining that this call back was more about getting more pictures to try to verify what it is they see because they weren't sure if it was a shadow from my implant or perhaps I moved during the screening. Either way, more tests but please don't worry.
I truly was not scared. I had peace.
I finished working out and was more concerned than anything about telling Dennis. He's a trooper but likes to get answers quickly. Once I told him the news he immediately went in to "fix it" mode, like most men do, by making arrangements for someone else to take his dad so he could go with me on Thursday to the appointment and not wait until Monday. Bless his heart. I know how much he loves me. Here's the thing. I had a deep conviction that Monday's appointment was fine....that I didn't need to stress out about this. Dennis and his sister kept texting me asking me if I was sure. I really and truly was sure. I know how much this bothered Dennis because he hates the waiting game but I believe God's hand was all over this. God always has a plan in every situation. In fact I'm confident He has plenty of back up plans too. I believe God allows some things, events, trials to come into our lives for a reason. Not to punish, but to help us...we just have to be aware and on the look out for God's purpose. I'm not exactly sure what the reason was for this hiccup in our lives but my theory is this, actually a couple different things....
Theory one. Recently in our small group we talked about how Dennis is quick to speak and pray but a tad slower at sitting still, staying quiet and waiting to hear the answer God is trying to tell him. Dennis knows this is an opportunity for him in life and prays to do better. By me "making" him wait until Monday he had no choice but to talk to God and practice listening to Him so he knew what he should do to "fix" this. This leads to theory number two. Obedience.
Dennis heeded what the Bible tells us to do: Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agreed about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Not only did Dennis sit and listen, he was obedient and was not ashamed to ask for prayer on social media (Facebook) that my tests would be 100% normal. How often do we dismiss going public with our belief in Jesus? Truthfully, at the time I wasn't having the same "Aha, let's all hold hands and pray for a miracle" moment as much as Dennis was. Of course I was praying. I had a little apprehension but I wasn't overly concerned , yet. So many women get called back and most of the time everything is fine. However, Dennis knew better which leads me to theory number three. Intercessory prayer.
Let's pretend Dennis humbly went before God to ask what to do in this situation (which is what God wants) but chose NOT to plead for prayer from others for non-cancerous test results. We could've sat on this and waited until AFTER the extra tests to mention it to everyone. By doing that, perhaps test results would have been different? And NOT in our favor? No doubt God would definitely have used that situation for His glory if test results weren't in our favor. He's done it before. I believe it's very possible God used Dennis to ask for intercession in this little hiccup of our life. I truly believe intercessory prayer can change the results of whatever situation we are going through. It may not always happen that way, but it will never happen that way if one doesn't even try intercessory prayer at all.
As you probably concluded, my follow up tests came back in my favor today. After two more mammograms and an ultrasound, the image they saw is that of a benign cyst. No need for more follow up at this time but just continue to come back for yearly mammogram screenings.
I have a great God. I have a loving husband. I am grateful for his persistence this past week. Being proactive with our health is so important but Dennis took it a step further and was proactive by trusting in the one true Healer. God is good indeed!
I love you, Dennis.
Tues, Feb 21, 2017
was my yearly screening mammogram. A little apprehension is always going to be there for me. I don't get scared, I just want to get in, get out and get the results quickly!
The next day...
Wed, Feb 22, 2017
Dennis is getting ready to leave for work and gives me his ritual bear hug and kiss but it was a little different today especially when he says something like, "I just have so much love for you this morning." Very sweet guy I have. About an hour later while working out I get a call saying I need to come back for more tests because something they see on the films is not clear and they need more pics via mammography, ultrasound and/or MRI. Ugh! Ok. But this is okay because back in 2009 when I was called back after my mammo it was clearly because they saw micro calcifications. This is what started my breast cancer journey back then. You can read about that journey here if interested. http://teresa-solodon.blogspot.com/2009/10/chapter-of-teresas-story.html
But for now they just need more info. Could I come in Thursday Feb 23? Well, I already made a commitment to babysit and Dennis was already taking his dad to the doctor that day. I didn't want to stress myself and everyone else out by trying to switch everyone's schedules with less than 24 hour notice. It wasn't life threatening anyway. Plus, we had a busy weekend with Matthew and his bowling team competing in Regionals both Friday and Saturday. As much as I wanted to get in, get out and get results, I chose to take a Monday morning appointment instead. Besides, if by chance results weren't what I wanted to hear, I wanted to wait until AFTER the weekend was done.
I didn't tell Dennis right away because he had a lot going on at work this day and I wanted to wait to hear from my doctor anyway (it was the imaging department who had called me to set up the follow up appointment.) I knew my doctor would be calling me just as soon as he could and sure enough the office did call me a little later explaining that this call back was more about getting more pictures to try to verify what it is they see because they weren't sure if it was a shadow from my implant or perhaps I moved during the screening. Either way, more tests but please don't worry.
I truly was not scared. I had peace.
I finished working out and was more concerned than anything about telling Dennis. He's a trooper but likes to get answers quickly. Once I told him the news he immediately went in to "fix it" mode, like most men do, by making arrangements for someone else to take his dad so he could go with me on Thursday to the appointment and not wait until Monday. Bless his heart. I know how much he loves me. Here's the thing. I had a deep conviction that Monday's appointment was fine....that I didn't need to stress out about this. Dennis and his sister kept texting me asking me if I was sure. I really and truly was sure. I know how much this bothered Dennis because he hates the waiting game but I believe God's hand was all over this. God always has a plan in every situation. In fact I'm confident He has plenty of back up plans too. I believe God allows some things, events, trials to come into our lives for a reason. Not to punish, but to help us...we just have to be aware and on the look out for God's purpose. I'm not exactly sure what the reason was for this hiccup in our lives but my theory is this, actually a couple different things....
Theory one. Recently in our small group we talked about how Dennis is quick to speak and pray but a tad slower at sitting still, staying quiet and waiting to hear the answer God is trying to tell him. Dennis knows this is an opportunity for him in life and prays to do better. By me "making" him wait until Monday he had no choice but to talk to God and practice listening to Him so he knew what he should do to "fix" this. This leads to theory number two. Obedience.
Dennis heeded what the Bible tells us to do: Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agreed about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Not only did Dennis sit and listen, he was obedient and was not ashamed to ask for prayer on social media (Facebook) that my tests would be 100% normal. How often do we dismiss going public with our belief in Jesus? Truthfully, at the time I wasn't having the same "Aha, let's all hold hands and pray for a miracle" moment as much as Dennis was. Of course I was praying. I had a little apprehension but I wasn't overly concerned , yet. So many women get called back and most of the time everything is fine. However, Dennis knew better which leads me to theory number three. Intercessory prayer.
Let's pretend Dennis humbly went before God to ask what to do in this situation (which is what God wants) but chose NOT to plead for prayer from others for non-cancerous test results. We could've sat on this and waited until AFTER the extra tests to mention it to everyone. By doing that, perhaps test results would have been different? And NOT in our favor? No doubt God would definitely have used that situation for His glory if test results weren't in our favor. He's done it before. I believe it's very possible God used Dennis to ask for intercession in this little hiccup of our life. I truly believe intercessory prayer can change the results of whatever situation we are going through. It may not always happen that way, but it will never happen that way if one doesn't even try intercessory prayer at all.
As you probably concluded, my follow up tests came back in my favor today. After two more mammograms and an ultrasound, the image they saw is that of a benign cyst. No need for more follow up at this time but just continue to come back for yearly mammogram screenings.
I have a great God. I have a loving husband. I am grateful for his persistence this past week. Being proactive with our health is so important but Dennis took it a step further and was proactive by trusting in the one true Healer. God is good indeed!
I love you, Dennis.
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