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| Matthew at 6 years old |
When do you have "the talk" with your child? I feel as if I'm being forced to introduce something to Matthew earlier than necessary. Why? Because even though I can opt out of having Matthew participate in the human sexuality class that will be taught during school, the majority, if not all of his friends and classmates will be participating. Hence, conversations with some of Matt's more vocal friends where Matt will be present may take place which then forces our hands to go ahead and have that conversation with Matthew.
Granted, this program is a faith based program. I opted to preview the material ahead of time before deciding whether or not to give Matt permission to participate. The program presents the information from a Christian view point so I am very pleased with that. The chapters prior to the sexual intercourse section talk about love, relationships and commitment as in marriage. All good stuff. I am just so conflicted with the TIMING of this in MY son's life. Eleven years old and he will be learning what sexual intercourse is. Okay, so some may say, "Tre, maybe it's you and Dennis who aren't willing to accept the fact your son is growing up and needs to learn about this." I say, "I am not naive and I KNOW he needs to learn about this and WILL learn about this but I was hoping it would be decided by us, Den and me, when that time would be to introduce this talk. I have even thought and prayed about whether or not I am the one being unreasonable, that maybe Den and I are over thinking this." I keep hearing, "You know your child better than anyone else." Matthew is a young sixth grader. He is so very innocent compared to some of the other students. He watches Sponge Bob and plays Mario Kart and still builds his Legos sets. He sleeps with a stuffed dog named Patch. He doesn't desire a cell phone or iPod. Trust me, I have asked him if he wants these things and he always says, "Naaahhh." He does have a flip cell phone only because we don't have a house phone anymore but it is otherwise always turned off just because he has no interest in it. I realize none of this stuff is as important as learning about the human body and how life is created, but as Dennis said to me yesterday, "It's a shame. We just keep introducing stuff to our kids (that they do need to learn about) but it keeps coming at earlier and earlier ages whether they're ready for it or not."
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| Matt and me - 1st grade field trip to the zoo |
So, I sit here, reminded of the world we live in. Our children are growing up faster than we did and they need to be prepared for what lies ahead. (I even asked my son, Chris (almost 21) if he thought his brother was ready for this. His response? "I don't think
I would have been ready for that talk in the 6th grade!") But, here we are. I may not like the fact Matthew is going to have this talk presented to him earlier than what Den and I would have planned but I am grateful I have a God I can pray to for guidance in this. The timing for this may not be what I agree with but I know God can prepare all of our hearts to make the timing just right, for, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 God knows our hearts. God knows Matthew's heart. I pray God will honor our commitment to our children by being present in all the talks Matthew will be involved in and that the information is accepted according to how God would have Matthew accept it. I am going to stop fretting about it and trust that God's got this just as He has taken care of all our other issues, big or small, in our lives. He is so good!
