I had three follow up appointments this past month that relate to my breast cancer which had been diagnosed back in May of 2009. I saw my breast cancer surgeon, had my mammogram, and had an oncologist appointment.
Quick recap: May '09' I had my very first mammogram which came back questionable. Second mammo resulted in a biopsy, biopsy resulted in probable diagnosis of DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ.) This led to an invitation to research three different surgeons who would most likely be performing surgery on me. Den and I quickly, through prayer and process of elimination, picked a surgeon. We visited this surgeon and she confirmed DCIS, gave us our options (I say 'our' because this wasn't just going to affect me. It would affect Dennis as well.) Xrays and MRI results came back and although DCIS isn't an aggressive cancer (it's basically a contained cancer to where a lumpectomy or mastectomy would probably get rid of it) we decided on mastectomy. We met with the plastic surgeon who would create a new breast for me and upgrade the other. Unfortunately this appointment was on the Saturday my son pitched his last game as a senior in HS. I still feel bad about missing that. (I inserted this fact here because I failed to mention it in my original blog.) A couple days later my surgery was schedule for Tuesday, June 9. Crazily, all these events took place within a month. On June 9, 2009, all the cancer had been removed along with my entire left breast and a few lymph nodes. Praise God no cancer had gotten through the lymph nodes so in essence, cancer free! It sounds like such a sweet ending to an eventful month, (see entire chapter in detail here http://www.teresa-solodon.blogspot.com/2009/10/chapter-of-teresas-story.html) but life isn't always that easy. To look back now and see how far I've come can only be a testament to God. Den and I tried to keep the best possible attitude through the months/years that followed. There were indeed times I just cried. I was torn about the emotions I felt. I lost a breast and can visually remember the moment Dennis and I were home from the surgery and I was about to remove the bandage to see for the first time what was left behind. I remember looking in the mirror, nervous, as we pulled the bandage away and said, after taking a big breath, "Okay. It doesn't look that bad." My plastic surgeon had already inserted an expander, a balloon type pouch injected with fluid which would, through the next 4 months, help stretch my skin and muscle. Fluid would be added monthly to stretch it some more. Eventually the expander would be removed to make a home to my new breast. I already had some fluid in this expander when I came home so it just looked like a little boob. All I could do was stare for a few moments. I had monthly appointments and saw the oncologist every few months. No big deal but at the same time, a big deal. Cancer is gone but here I am, months later still dealing with the residual of what that first mammogram found. I was lopsided for a time leading up to my reconstruction surgery but trying to keep that positive attitude going, we still took our beach vacation and I was still determined to sport my bikini, lopsidedness and all. Later that year I had the reconstruction surgery. I still had
restrictions, still needed two more simple procedures, nipple reconstruction and an appointment to get my first tattoo, an aerola. (Yes, that is how they make it.) If I remember correctly, my procedures weren't all completed until almost a year after my mastectomy. I was thrilled when I could finally begin to work out again! My mastectomy immediately took away the cancer but it also took away a good year of my life of doing what I thoroughly missed which was working out daily. Yes, a small price to pay but such a nuisance in my mind. Again, emotions running wild. Being grateful cancer didn't exist anymore yet irritated it took something important away from me. As whacked as it sounds, I really did have the best possible breast cancer one could get. As my surgeon told me, it is the least aggressive with a very aggressive treatment.
Time went by, I got stronger.
My workouts got more intense.
Our eating habits changed to a cleaner diet.
I preached "Mammograms, ladies."
I did a breast cancer walk.
I bought pink ribbon clothing and jewelry.
I prayed for friends and family who would also be diagnosed with breast cancer after me and so on. I see music videos or hear stories about breast cancer fighters and survivors and still to this day get emotional and cry. I write this and cry. Mixed emotions because I have family and friends and acquaintances who had to experience chemo, radiation and even loss of life due to breast cancer. I ponder on these women and begin to look at my situation and think that what I went through is NOTHING compared to what they have had to endure. Emotions. God gave them to us. I still at times do this comparing but then I will remember a comment I read on someone's FB post that read something like this, "We can't compare our trials and hardships we endure to someone else's." My journey is my journey. Yours is yours. God has a plan for all of us. My circumstances may seem so inconceivable for someone else to handle as well as I may look at someone else's life and think, "There's no way I could ever handle what she has to handle." I am still a work in progress when it comes to this way of thinking but I am so thankful I am learning that no matter the issue, big or small, God cares and WANTS me to come to Him to ask for help to guide me. Those few years were definitely a learning experience based on a whole new level. I am grateful to have experienced every one of them.
It is January of 2014. In five months it will be five years since my mastectomy. I will be able to stop taking the preventative meds that give me hot flashes, joint pain, bad hair, etc. Per my oncologist last week, I will NOT have to see her anymore after this July as long as I am seeing my breast cancer surgeon once a year. My mammograms are now just regular yearly screening mammograms, which by the way my most recent results from last week's mammo came back normal! I await my blood work still but anticipate nothing but good results. I will see my plastic surgeon later this year for the first time in about three years. I don't anticipate anything iffy to happen there (he does excellent work by the way.)
All in all my family and I are doing great! I love them more than ever and I love the path God has been leading us down. Breast cancer was just a smidgen of my, our story but it has shaped us a thousand fold for the better.
