Confession

I have a confession to make:

But first,

Nearly eight years ago, surgeries, procedures and recovery due to mastectomy took away about a year of what my "normal" life looked like. And this was withOUT having to endure chemo and radiation.

Working out, being active, typical household chores and more were put on hold for a time. "Normal" activities such as grocery shopping, car pooling, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc slowly were added back in to my life still without much gusto.  Even modified workouts such as walking and the bike were eventually incorporated back in.

 It was probably a year before I could start working my upper body muscles again. The dreaded push up, although always girly style for me, was a thing of the past. I was so weak but push ups, REAL pushups were my goal.  Pull ups would eventually be thrown in there as a goal but years later.  Needless to say, a wall pushup is where I had to start.

Fast forward 7 years, 9 months:

Doing 20 to 25 pushups in a roll is something I am proud to say I can do now and am working on upping that number. Whenever push ups are required for my workout I still modify when I have to but strive to do all of them without my knees on the ground.  They may not always be pretty but.....

Here's the confession part:  So whenever I have a mammogram appointment, the days leading up to it I get down on the floor and do pushups because I start thinking in the back of my head, "If that mammogram result comes back unfavorable, I may get this taken away from me again!"

Yes, I'm a dork.  Well, not really.  Yes the push up scenario sounds silly but if you think about it, we tend to want things more when we can't have them.  We don't realize just how much something means to us until we don't have it.  It's something I'm still trying to work on as a whole in my life; you know, take in and appreciate everything.  One day I hope to conquer this but I doubt it will ever happen on this side of life.  We are always a work in progress!