A Birthday Blog for an Unbelievable Man

He watches chick flicks with me.  He rubs my feet.  He works so hard to earn a living for us so that I don't have to work outside the home.  When things get tight  and I even mention a thought of maybe I should pull my weight a little in the financial department by getting a job, he ups his game and voila is earning that extra bonus at work.  Delivering phone books years ago as a family brought in extra income.  Looking for ways to cut back and reassuring me he's got this has always been his MO.  He takes his job as the head of the household seriously. He truly appreciates having me home taking care of the kids and the house and of course, him.  It's partly a pride thing on his part (having me stay home) because he feels HE should provide for us but he also knows I really am in my dream job. 

As a father, he absolutely takes pride and joy in his two sons.  He would do anything for either one of them.  He has coached Chris since the t-ball years all the way into high school baseball.  He has coached his basketball teams all through middle school and has been doing the same with Matt.  If ever Dennis had to miss one of his boys' games, it was because he was out of town.  I think I can count on one hand the amount of games Dennis has missed.  Being able to coach is a gift from God.  Not only does Dennis love to coach his own boys, he takes pride in coaching the team as a whole.  He coaches as if they were his own sons. As much as he loves to win, more joy comes from the fact when he can TEACH the boys.  He is a fair coach.  He disciplines when needed yet knows how to have fun.  It amazes me at what he can do out on the baseball field and a basketball court.

He's an all or nothing kind of guy which for the most part, works for him. When he puts his mind to something, he succeeds.  Failure is not an option for him.  His determination never ceases to amaze me.  He always wants to improve.  For instance, not only did he beat his last year's marathon time but he crushed it and even broke his 4 hour goal!  He's physically fit.  He's mentally fit.  He may not always seem it but he's very compassionate.  He's funny.  He's comical.  He can relieve tension in any situation.  He can get a room laughing like crazy.  He loves God and isn't afraid to tell you that you need to ask God into your life too.  He's persistent when something is important to him.  He's passionate about what he believes in.  He can fix a toilet and roof a house.  He's dug up a swimming pool IN THE RAIN that he found on Craigslist which saved us a ton of money.  When he wanted to give up digging it out, I knew he actually wouldn't because that's who he is.  He has the same love for beach vacations as I do and is like a little kid once we actually get there.  He drives me crazy when all he wants to do is play in the sand and water KNOWING the grocery shopping needs to get done, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

He's conquered anxiety for the most part.  It's not to say he never has an issue creep up on him but his determination in not letting anxiety win has been proven over and over since he hasn't taken anxiety meds in YEARS!  He held it together through my breast cancer scare and then some!  He had to still coach AND plan Chris' graduation party when we went through that.  He had to cook the meals and take care of me and laundry and the boys and still do his job.  He is my superman!

He is a dreamer but also a realist.  He jumps at opportunities.....sometimes before thinking and wonders what the heck he got himself into but then it becomes a challenge he believes he will conquer (and usually does.)  In these cases I call him my Peter (the apostle who jumped out of the boat before thinking about what he was doing.)  He supports me 99.9% of the time.  He's a praying man.  Like I said, he loves God.

He would do anything for me and I know it.  If I didn't know it was wrong to put someone on a pedestal, that's where I'd have him.  God says til death do us part.  I hear heaven is the most amazing place ever.  A place we can't even imagine being as unfathomable as we're told it is.  But in my mind, right now, heaven won't be heaven without being able to be with Dennis and I truly hope God will allow me to still have Dennis with me somehow, someway when that day comes (a long, long time from now.)

I'm so grateful for God's timing.  Had I not met Dennis in high school, someone else would have snatched him up and I would have had to settle for someone else.  Thank you God for this man.

Happy Birthday, Den!

Best of Intentions

      Well, the morning started out with the intention of heading out to Plymouth for some time with the ladies to pray for my friend who is battling cancer.  Figured I would have time to stop and pick up a Starbucks on the way.  Heck, I even had a decent hair morning in spite of the humidity and rain!  However, in addition to the rain causing slower traffic than usual, we get stopped by a long train on the way to school.  Add to that the drop off line being horrendously long (tell your kids to STOP, DROP and ROLL people!  Lol! Just kidding), we get to the school 10 minutes later than I had planned which in itself was still okay because the boys weren't late....I left early enough, thank God, to have compensated for the unexpected delay.

   I pull over and plug the address into GPS and realize there's no way I'd make it to the prayer meeting in time.  So, the guilt starts kicking in because I haven't been to one of these prayer meetings since they were started back in June. I stay at the side of the road for a moment praying, looking at another Care Pages update for another breast cancer fighter who is STILL fighting hard and asking for prayer not only for her but other breast cancer survivors who are fighting to this day.  I realize, guilt is the last thing I should be allowing in my life.  Who cares if I pray here at the side of the road or in a nice, warm, comfy home, probably filled with the delicious scent of coffee.
    But still, I was wondering why God would allow these delays knowing my intentions were for something I believe He put on my heart to do.   Sometimes in life it's easy to see right away why God puts an obstacle in our path.  Perhaps you're stopped by every traffic light and are getting ticked but a few minutes down the road you see a HORRIBLE accident which is apparent had just happened.  That could have been you.  Other times it's more baffling because you truly believe this is what God told you to do yet the obstacles prohibited you to do it.

Guilt can come in and tell you that you didn't try hard enough. You may feel like you failed God because you didn't accomplish what He told you to do.  Guilt is not your friend people!  God has come to free you from guilt.  So, I take a different look at the situation and realize, my heart was right with God.  My intentions were right with God.  God looks at the heart above all else.  I truly planned to do what He wanted me to do.

    Another occurrence like this happened many years ago.  I remember Chris being about pre-school age.  He had really bad flat feet and needed special inserts for his shoes which cost more money than Dennis and I had.  We weren't financially able to buy things on a moment's notice so I had to save up.  I remember being in church one Sunday morning and the sermon was about tithing and giving and basically you cannot out give God.  He preached the blessings you receive back from God will always be more than what you can imagine.  Keep in mind, we were NOT doing great financially.  We tease Chris that he grew up on hot dogs and Matt is growing up on prime rib.  But, I was so convicted by that message and actually felt God telling me to give the money I had saved up for these inserts for Chris' shoes.  I don't even remember why I had carried that money in my purse instead of tucking it away (but that's not the point of the story.)   I looked in my purse to pull out the money to give when the basket passed and it wasn't there!   I was actually so disappointed.  I wanted so badly to do this for God.  It was one of my first lessons I can honestly say I "took" with me about obedience.  God just wanted to see if I would do what He asked.  He was looking at my heart.

    It just so happens that Dennis decided to take my car into the shop this morning which meant he needed a ride home.  Had I been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have been able to be here for him.  With family coming into town this weekend, I have running around to do to prepare which I was going to do right after leaving Tina's.  If I had been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have taken the time to sit and write about my experience this morning.  Does it sound like I'm justifying?  Maybe to some but to me it's just another message from God telling me that His timing is perfect even when we don't understand it.  As long as you take the time to listen to Him, and your heart is in tune with His, He'll work it all out.  

Have a blessed day!

Worry and Stress or Peace and Joy?

Peace and joy disappeared from my life the other day and it was AWFUL!  My daily life has become one of contentment in all situations, at least that is what I strive for.   Dennis saw a side of me he hadn't seen in a long time - a stressful Teresa - and he made a point of telling me how horrible it was to see me like that after all this time.

The last two years I have striven to alleviate stress from my life.  Fewer unnecessary commitments.  Saying no to things I would have said yes to in the past.  Saying yes to more fun things.  Allowing the house to "go" of chores for a day or two.  Talking more about God.  Praying more to God.  (Still need to read the Bible more.)  Looking for God's purpose in all situations, good or bad.   I was starting to really live life the way I think God intended.  It was wonderful.  But then, all of a sudden for some reason an overwhelming amount of stress of getting things done whooshed down on me like a ton of bricks. (As if the world would have fallen apart had I not accomplished what "needed" to be done.)  I hated the way I felt,  Dennis didn't like it and I'm sure God was shaking His head at me thinking, "My child, why are you allowing this back into your life?  You have experienced my peace and joy in good times and bad.  Do not let the world tell you it has to be like this."   The world says we need to be in control of everything.  Right, how's that going for you?  Hardships are a given in life but stressing long enough about it or worrying long enough about our problem will not make it go away. 

My perspective on life has changed yet again.  Well, maybe not changed but I was given a reminder with a good swift kick in the butt about what this life on earth is all about.  Fact is, we are born and we will die.  It is what we do for God's glory in the years in between that matter.  My friend, whose cancer is back would slap me (well, not literally but would give a good tongue lashing) if I started crying continuously how unfair this situation is.  There is NO woe is me allowed.  She is the ultimate example, thus far in my life, of how a person lives a life of joy and peace.  Her attitude is one of selflessness.  Her attitude is one that says, "If this is for God's glory then use me, Lord."  I imagine she experiences some sadness for her family and I know she has tough days as well but she knows how to give it to God and trusts completely that HE has this.  By the world's standard, she should be stressing and worrying, yet she has peace....the kind of peace I want to continue to have. It is impossible to understand this kind of peace if you don't have Jesus in your life.  Phillippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding (comprehension), will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Do you have Jesus in your life?  Have you given control of your life back to Jesus?  Have you asked Him to come into your heart to reign as your personal Savior?  Who knows, maybe God's timing for you is now to invite Him in.  I have which is how I have been able to experience His peace and contentment in good times and bad.  My laundry awaits me as I type.  My workout is still pending as I type.  Bills need to be paid as I type but it is all good.  I will not stress.  It will get done.  Writing for God's glory is more important.

Have a blessed day all!

A Lenten Commitment

     Asked God to help me come up with something to do for Lent.  I don't feel convicted to give anything up but feel compelled to do something.  I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore but those Catholic roots have stayed with me.  I believe it's a wonderful gesture and does more for a person than they realize.

      A few years ago I felt very convicted to give up facebook.  THAT was hard!  One year I gave up chocolate.  That was quite difficult as well.  I don't give up something every year including last year.  This year I took some time to talk to God to ask him for guidance in what He thought I should do this year. 

      I LOVE to pray for people, no doubt, and I love when God puts someone on my heart to pray for but when I was living my breast cancer chapter, I realized even more how powerful prayer really is.  I was touched by the amount of people who said they were praying for me.  After that chapter, I vowed to make sure if someone asked for prayer via facebook, email, etc I would stop and pray for that person or situation RIGHT THEN AND THERE.  How many times have we said something like, "I'm praying for you" or "You'll be in my prayers" but then go on our merry way and never even mutter a, "God, please help so and so today"?  That chapter in my life was a life changing time and my prayer life became much "gooder" as a result of it.  

So, what did God and I decide on this year?  Simple:  More praying.  But specifically I am asking God to put a particular person on my heart each day and I am committing to pray fervently for that person throughout the day.  On this first day of Lent, just from looking at my friends' facebook statuses, so many need prayer and I vow to whisper a prayer for them, but God has already laid someone in particular on my heart so here I go.  I am so looking forward to doing this and I cannot wait to see who God puts on my heart each and every day.

                              God's timing IS perfect!

Jeanette 1968-2010...Gone But Not Forgotten

            We didn't share a locker.  I don't think we shared any classes.  We didn't share the same group of friends back in our high school years.  Unbeknownst to both of us we would grow up to share the same disease - breast cancer.  Hers aggressive.  Mine not.

          Jeanette was a smart cookie in high school, someone I didn't think I could "hang" with because I didn't carry the same grades as her.  How silly that sounds to me now.  I remember her being kind and always smiling.  She was involved in her activities at school, me with mine and a big regret of mine now is not getting to know her better sooner.

         Jeanette and I reconnected October 2009 after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer myself.  A friend of ours (Den and me) who is connected with the Red Wings invited me to watch a game in one of the suites with other breast cancer survivors.  This was their annual breast cancer fundraiser night.  I was told I could invite another breast cancer survivor.  I wasn't sure if Jeanette would want to come since we hadn't spoken to each other since our reunion but not knowing anyone else personally who was a survivor, I gave it a shot.  She was more than thrilled to come.  This is when I started to realize how witty and comical and real Jeanette really was.  I remember so vividly when we pulled up to Joe Louis Arena and she saw all those steps which she thought she'd have to climb.  Jeanette (in her humorous,

Jeanette standing next to Steve Yzerman

Jeanette tone):  "Um, we don't have to climb all them steps, do we?"  Mind you, Jeanette was mobile but still needed the use of her cane due to hip surgery a little while prior and the fact she was still fighting off this ugly disease.  Bekki, my friend who drove us and organized this event assured Jeanette that we would be getting door to door service and that an elevator would take us to where we needed to go. What a fun evening we had with other survivors and a personal visit to our suite by Steve Yzerman.  


        Since that game we really only shared a couple of lunches together and sent a few emails back and forth but each time we conversed I realized what a great gal this was.  She had been fighting cancer for years but never seemed to let that be an excuse for not living life.  I remember one of our last lunches where she needed the use of her walker and had lost feeling and the use of one of her hands but again, she talked and acted as if life was normal.  She never allowed me to feel sorry for her.  I had wanted to help her cut her food but I didn't even dare to try to interfere with that as she wasn't going to let this cancer take away the seemingly simple task of cutting her food.  We talked about how I was in the midst of redoing my son's room and she told me how she wanted to get to HER son's room to redo.  We talked about getting together with Cheri to start planning our 25th class reunion.  Life, to Jeanette, was a gift everyday that she woke up and she was going to live it to the fullest.  




       We did end up having one more lunch together with Cheri to discuss reunion planning which we had all hoped Jeanette would be able to attend.  It was a nice lunch on a warm, sunny, October afternoon.  Unfortunately Jeanette will not be attending the reunion..  


     Jeanette passed away on Dec 28, 2010.  It was less than two weeks prior I found out Jeanette was in the hospital and I knew I needed to visit her.  I felt in my soul this would be the last time I saw her this side of heaven.   It was a short visit but nothing less than sweet.  Her dad was there when I arrived and he decided to leave when I came.  I will never forget Jeanette's response to her dad when he said he'd be back to visit tomorrow.  She said, "Okay daddy.  Bye daddy.  I love you daddy."  It was very sweet.   A "chemo buddy" was there as well telling Jeanette a story and this friend had nothing but praises to report to me about Jeanette.  I learned so much more about Jeanette in this short ten minute visit that I will treasure.  I gave her a hug and upon leaving she told me to call her if Cheri and I decided to do more planning for the reunion.  So typical of Jeanette.  I prayed a prayer of salvation the next day over the phone with her.  That would be the last conversation we had.




       I attended her funeral on New Year's Eve day, a day where many consider it a celebration of  "out with the old and in with the new.  It seems fitting to have commended Jeanette to God on this day.....I am told we get new bodies when we go to heaven....out with the old and in with the new.  I am confident Jeanette has now received her new, cancer FREE body.....new boobs and all!


                        Jeanette (Zelazny) Kappe  1968-2010     


                        You will be missed my friend.