Today is exactly five months since my mastectomy and exactly four weeks since my reconstruction surgery and although my journey isn't over yet, we're getting there and I'm doing okay! Physically, my recovery period after this last surgery has been easier than the first. Emotionally, it has been worse. I suppose I could drive myself bonkers trying to pinpoint exactly where the Emotion Roller Coaster Ride stems from. It could be a number of things or a combination of things such as meds or the whole process of reconstruction itself. I clearly remember my plastic surgeon telling me at our first appointment back in May that this whole process will take about one year of my life but it's going to be worth it if it can give me at least 40 more years. He's right, but five months later when the cancer is gone yet we're still dealing with doctors and reconstruction, a year seems so long. This whole process is teaching me patience though which I thought I had enough of. Apparently God doesn't think so.
I saw my plastic surgeon last week for another post op visit. When he told me I could start exercising again on the bike and/or treadmill and he saw my expression that said I had already started, he seemed disappointed and reminded me that if I'm not careful I would end up in surgery again to fix what was broke due to my impatience to start working out. He also did not give me clearance to sit in the jacuzzi with my hubby yet which was a disappointment. You must understand, jacuzzi time means Dennis and Teresa time to chat by ourselves even if it's only for 30 minutes. (By the way, I was a good girl on that one. I didn't take any chances of sitting in a hot tub before clearance was given.) And to top it all off, he gave next year as a possible time to be able to construct the nipple. Although none of this news is devastating in itself, I took it as a disappointing visit because things didn't fall into place the way Ms Teresa wanted them to. As far as nipple reconstruction.....he did say there is a slight chance I could be ready a month from now. But of course, it is all in God's time. He sees the whole picture. I am, however, saying my prayers for a nice Christmas present from my plastic surgeon. (Hoping that's not TMI. Den and I have tried to be open about this whole thing. Why stop now. Lol!)
Today has probably been one of my better days. Thank you God!
