Well, the morning started out with the intention of heading out to Plymouth for some time with the ladies to pray for my friend who is battling cancer. Figured I would have time to stop and pick up a Starbucks on the way. Heck, I even had a decent hair morning in spite of the humidity and rain! However, in addition to the rain causing slower traffic than usual, we get stopped by a long train on the way to school. Add to that the drop off line being horrendously long (tell your kids to STOP, DROP and ROLL people! Lol! Just kidding), we get to the school 10 minutes later than I had planned which in itself was still okay because the boys weren't late....I left early enough, thank God, to have compensated for the unexpected delay.
I pull over and plug the address into GPS and realize there's no way I'd make it to the prayer meeting in time. So, the guilt starts kicking in because I haven't been to one of these prayer meetings since they were started back in June. I stay at the side of the road for a moment praying, looking at another Care Pages update for another breast cancer fighter who is STILL fighting hard and asking for prayer not only for her but other breast cancer survivors who are fighting to this day. I realize, guilt is the last thing I should be allowing in my life. Who cares if I pray here at the side of the road or in a nice, warm, comfy home, probably filled with the delicious scent of coffee.
But still, I was wondering why God would allow these delays knowing my intentions were for something I believe He put on my heart to do. Sometimes in life it's easy to see right away why God puts an obstacle in our path. Perhaps you're stopped by every traffic light and are getting ticked but a few minutes down the road you see a HORRIBLE accident which is apparent had just happened. That could have been you. Other times it's more baffling because you truly believe this is what God told you to do yet the obstacles prohibited you to do it.
Guilt can come in and tell you that you didn't try hard enough. You may feel like you failed God because you didn't accomplish what He told you to do. Guilt is not your friend people! God has come to free you from guilt. So, I take a different look at the situation and realize, my heart was right with God. My intentions were right with God. God looks at the heart above all else. I truly planned to do what He wanted me to do.
Another occurrence like this happened many years ago. I remember Chris being about pre-school age. He had really bad flat feet and needed special inserts for his shoes which cost more money than Dennis and I had. We weren't financially able to buy things on a moment's notice so I had to save up. I remember being in church one Sunday morning and the sermon was about tithing and giving and basically you cannot out give God. He preached the blessings you receive back from God will always be more than what you can imagine. Keep in mind, we were NOT doing great financially. We tease Chris that he grew up on hot dogs and Matt is growing up on prime rib. But, I was so convicted by that message and actually felt God telling me to give the money I had saved up for these inserts for Chris' shoes. I don't even remember why I had carried that money in my purse instead of tucking it away (but that's not the point of the story.) I looked in my purse to pull out the money to give when the basket passed and it wasn't there! I was actually so disappointed. I wanted so badly to do this for God. It was one of my first lessons I can honestly say I "took" with me about obedience. God just wanted to see if I would do what He asked. He was looking at my heart.
It just so happens that Dennis decided to take my car into the shop this morning which meant he needed a ride home. Had I been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have been able to be here for him. With family coming into town this weekend, I have running around to do to prepare which I was going to do right after leaving Tina's. If I had been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have taken the time to sit and write about my experience this morning. Does it sound like I'm justifying? Maybe to some but to me it's just another message from God telling me that His timing is perfect even when we don't understand it. As long as you take the time to listen to Him, and your heart is in tune with His, He'll work it all out.
Have a blessed day!
