A Birthday Blog for an Unbelievable Man

He watches chick flicks with me.  He rubs my feet.  He works so hard to earn a living for us so that I don't have to work outside the home.  When things get tight  and I even mention a thought of maybe I should pull my weight a little in the financial department by getting a job, he ups his game and voila is earning that extra bonus at work.  Delivering phone books years ago as a family brought in extra income.  Looking for ways to cut back and reassuring me he's got this has always been his MO.  He takes his job as the head of the household seriously. He truly appreciates having me home taking care of the kids and the house and of course, him.  It's partly a pride thing on his part (having me stay home) because he feels HE should provide for us but he also knows I really am in my dream job. 

As a father, he absolutely takes pride and joy in his two sons.  He would do anything for either one of them.  He has coached Chris since the t-ball years all the way into high school baseball.  He has coached his basketball teams all through middle school and has been doing the same with Matt.  If ever Dennis had to miss one of his boys' games, it was because he was out of town.  I think I can count on one hand the amount of games Dennis has missed.  Being able to coach is a gift from God.  Not only does Dennis love to coach his own boys, he takes pride in coaching the team as a whole.  He coaches as if they were his own sons. As much as he loves to win, more joy comes from the fact when he can TEACH the boys.  He is a fair coach.  He disciplines when needed yet knows how to have fun.  It amazes me at what he can do out on the baseball field and a basketball court.

He's an all or nothing kind of guy which for the most part, works for him. When he puts his mind to something, he succeeds.  Failure is not an option for him.  His determination never ceases to amaze me.  He always wants to improve.  For instance, not only did he beat his last year's marathon time but he crushed it and even broke his 4 hour goal!  He's physically fit.  He's mentally fit.  He may not always seem it but he's very compassionate.  He's funny.  He's comical.  He can relieve tension in any situation.  He can get a room laughing like crazy.  He loves God and isn't afraid to tell you that you need to ask God into your life too.  He's persistent when something is important to him.  He's passionate about what he believes in.  He can fix a toilet and roof a house.  He's dug up a swimming pool IN THE RAIN that he found on Craigslist which saved us a ton of money.  When he wanted to give up digging it out, I knew he actually wouldn't because that's who he is.  He has the same love for beach vacations as I do and is like a little kid once we actually get there.  He drives me crazy when all he wants to do is play in the sand and water KNOWING the grocery shopping needs to get done, but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

He's conquered anxiety for the most part.  It's not to say he never has an issue creep up on him but his determination in not letting anxiety win has been proven over and over since he hasn't taken anxiety meds in YEARS!  He held it together through my breast cancer scare and then some!  He had to still coach AND plan Chris' graduation party when we went through that.  He had to cook the meals and take care of me and laundry and the boys and still do his job.  He is my superman!

He is a dreamer but also a realist.  He jumps at opportunities.....sometimes before thinking and wonders what the heck he got himself into but then it becomes a challenge he believes he will conquer (and usually does.)  In these cases I call him my Peter (the apostle who jumped out of the boat before thinking about what he was doing.)  He supports me 99.9% of the time.  He's a praying man.  Like I said, he loves God.

He would do anything for me and I know it.  If I didn't know it was wrong to put someone on a pedestal, that's where I'd have him.  God says til death do us part.  I hear heaven is the most amazing place ever.  A place we can't even imagine being as unfathomable as we're told it is.  But in my mind, right now, heaven won't be heaven without being able to be with Dennis and I truly hope God will allow me to still have Dennis with me somehow, someway when that day comes (a long, long time from now.)

I'm so grateful for God's timing.  Had I not met Dennis in high school, someone else would have snatched him up and I would have had to settle for someone else.  Thank you God for this man.

Happy Birthday, Den!

Best of Intentions

      Well, the morning started out with the intention of heading out to Plymouth for some time with the ladies to pray for my friend who is battling cancer.  Figured I would have time to stop and pick up a Starbucks on the way.  Heck, I even had a decent hair morning in spite of the humidity and rain!  However, in addition to the rain causing slower traffic than usual, we get stopped by a long train on the way to school.  Add to that the drop off line being horrendously long (tell your kids to STOP, DROP and ROLL people!  Lol! Just kidding), we get to the school 10 minutes later than I had planned which in itself was still okay because the boys weren't late....I left early enough, thank God, to have compensated for the unexpected delay.

   I pull over and plug the address into GPS and realize there's no way I'd make it to the prayer meeting in time.  So, the guilt starts kicking in because I haven't been to one of these prayer meetings since they were started back in June. I stay at the side of the road for a moment praying, looking at another Care Pages update for another breast cancer fighter who is STILL fighting hard and asking for prayer not only for her but other breast cancer survivors who are fighting to this day.  I realize, guilt is the last thing I should be allowing in my life.  Who cares if I pray here at the side of the road or in a nice, warm, comfy home, probably filled with the delicious scent of coffee.
    But still, I was wondering why God would allow these delays knowing my intentions were for something I believe He put on my heart to do.   Sometimes in life it's easy to see right away why God puts an obstacle in our path.  Perhaps you're stopped by every traffic light and are getting ticked but a few minutes down the road you see a HORRIBLE accident which is apparent had just happened.  That could have been you.  Other times it's more baffling because you truly believe this is what God told you to do yet the obstacles prohibited you to do it.

Guilt can come in and tell you that you didn't try hard enough. You may feel like you failed God because you didn't accomplish what He told you to do.  Guilt is not your friend people!  God has come to free you from guilt.  So, I take a different look at the situation and realize, my heart was right with God.  My intentions were right with God.  God looks at the heart above all else.  I truly planned to do what He wanted me to do.

    Another occurrence like this happened many years ago.  I remember Chris being about pre-school age.  He had really bad flat feet and needed special inserts for his shoes which cost more money than Dennis and I had.  We weren't financially able to buy things on a moment's notice so I had to save up.  I remember being in church one Sunday morning and the sermon was about tithing and giving and basically you cannot out give God.  He preached the blessings you receive back from God will always be more than what you can imagine.  Keep in mind, we were NOT doing great financially.  We tease Chris that he grew up on hot dogs and Matt is growing up on prime rib.  But, I was so convicted by that message and actually felt God telling me to give the money I had saved up for these inserts for Chris' shoes.  I don't even remember why I had carried that money in my purse instead of tucking it away (but that's not the point of the story.)   I looked in my purse to pull out the money to give when the basket passed and it wasn't there!   I was actually so disappointed.  I wanted so badly to do this for God.  It was one of my first lessons I can honestly say I "took" with me about obedience.  God just wanted to see if I would do what He asked.  He was looking at my heart.

    It just so happens that Dennis decided to take my car into the shop this morning which meant he needed a ride home.  Had I been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have been able to be here for him.  With family coming into town this weekend, I have running around to do to prepare which I was going to do right after leaving Tina's.  If I had been at that prayer meeting, I wouldn't have taken the time to sit and write about my experience this morning.  Does it sound like I'm justifying?  Maybe to some but to me it's just another message from God telling me that His timing is perfect even when we don't understand it.  As long as you take the time to listen to Him, and your heart is in tune with His, He'll work it all out.  

Have a blessed day!

Worry and Stress or Peace and Joy?

Peace and joy disappeared from my life the other day and it was AWFUL!  My daily life has become one of contentment in all situations, at least that is what I strive for.   Dennis saw a side of me he hadn't seen in a long time - a stressful Teresa - and he made a point of telling me how horrible it was to see me like that after all this time.

The last two years I have striven to alleviate stress from my life.  Fewer unnecessary commitments.  Saying no to things I would have said yes to in the past.  Saying yes to more fun things.  Allowing the house to "go" of chores for a day or two.  Talking more about God.  Praying more to God.  (Still need to read the Bible more.)  Looking for God's purpose in all situations, good or bad.   I was starting to really live life the way I think God intended.  It was wonderful.  But then, all of a sudden for some reason an overwhelming amount of stress of getting things done whooshed down on me like a ton of bricks. (As if the world would have fallen apart had I not accomplished what "needed" to be done.)  I hated the way I felt,  Dennis didn't like it and I'm sure God was shaking His head at me thinking, "My child, why are you allowing this back into your life?  You have experienced my peace and joy in good times and bad.  Do not let the world tell you it has to be like this."   The world says we need to be in control of everything.  Right, how's that going for you?  Hardships are a given in life but stressing long enough about it or worrying long enough about our problem will not make it go away. 

My perspective on life has changed yet again.  Well, maybe not changed but I was given a reminder with a good swift kick in the butt about what this life on earth is all about.  Fact is, we are born and we will die.  It is what we do for God's glory in the years in between that matter.  My friend, whose cancer is back would slap me (well, not literally but would give a good tongue lashing) if I started crying continuously how unfair this situation is.  There is NO woe is me allowed.  She is the ultimate example, thus far in my life, of how a person lives a life of joy and peace.  Her attitude is one of selflessness.  Her attitude is one that says, "If this is for God's glory then use me, Lord."  I imagine she experiences some sadness for her family and I know she has tough days as well but she knows how to give it to God and trusts completely that HE has this.  By the world's standard, she should be stressing and worrying, yet she has peace....the kind of peace I want to continue to have. It is impossible to understand this kind of peace if you don't have Jesus in your life.  Phillippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding (comprehension), will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Do you have Jesus in your life?  Have you given control of your life back to Jesus?  Have you asked Him to come into your heart to reign as your personal Savior?  Who knows, maybe God's timing for you is now to invite Him in.  I have which is how I have been able to experience His peace and contentment in good times and bad.  My laundry awaits me as I type.  My workout is still pending as I type.  Bills need to be paid as I type but it is all good.  I will not stress.  It will get done.  Writing for God's glory is more important.

Have a blessed day all!

A Lenten Commitment

     Asked God to help me come up with something to do for Lent.  I don't feel convicted to give anything up but feel compelled to do something.  I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore but those Catholic roots have stayed with me.  I believe it's a wonderful gesture and does more for a person than they realize.

      A few years ago I felt very convicted to give up facebook.  THAT was hard!  One year I gave up chocolate.  That was quite difficult as well.  I don't give up something every year including last year.  This year I took some time to talk to God to ask him for guidance in what He thought I should do this year. 

      I LOVE to pray for people, no doubt, and I love when God puts someone on my heart to pray for but when I was living my breast cancer chapter, I realized even more how powerful prayer really is.  I was touched by the amount of people who said they were praying for me.  After that chapter, I vowed to make sure if someone asked for prayer via facebook, email, etc I would stop and pray for that person or situation RIGHT THEN AND THERE.  How many times have we said something like, "I'm praying for you" or "You'll be in my prayers" but then go on our merry way and never even mutter a, "God, please help so and so today"?  That chapter in my life was a life changing time and my prayer life became much "gooder" as a result of it.  

So, what did God and I decide on this year?  Simple:  More praying.  But specifically I am asking God to put a particular person on my heart each day and I am committing to pray fervently for that person throughout the day.  On this first day of Lent, just from looking at my friends' facebook statuses, so many need prayer and I vow to whisper a prayer for them, but God has already laid someone in particular on my heart so here I go.  I am so looking forward to doing this and I cannot wait to see who God puts on my heart each and every day.

                              God's timing IS perfect!

Jeanette 1968-2010...Gone But Not Forgotten

            We didn't share a locker.  I don't think we shared any classes.  We didn't share the same group of friends back in our high school years.  Unbeknownst to both of us we would grow up to share the same disease - breast cancer.  Hers aggressive.  Mine not.

          Jeanette was a smart cookie in high school, someone I didn't think I could "hang" with because I didn't carry the same grades as her.  How silly that sounds to me now.  I remember her being kind and always smiling.  She was involved in her activities at school, me with mine and a big regret of mine now is not getting to know her better sooner.

         Jeanette and I reconnected October 2009 after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer myself.  A friend of ours (Den and me) who is connected with the Red Wings invited me to watch a game in one of the suites with other breast cancer survivors.  This was their annual breast cancer fundraiser night.  I was told I could invite another breast cancer survivor.  I wasn't sure if Jeanette would want to come since we hadn't spoken to each other since our reunion but not knowing anyone else personally who was a survivor, I gave it a shot.  She was more than thrilled to come.  This is when I started to realize how witty and comical and real Jeanette really was.  I remember so vividly when we pulled up to Joe Louis Arena and she saw all those steps which she thought she'd have to climb.  Jeanette (in her humorous,

Jeanette standing next to Steve Yzerman

Jeanette tone):  "Um, we don't have to climb all them steps, do we?"  Mind you, Jeanette was mobile but still needed the use of her cane due to hip surgery a little while prior and the fact she was still fighting off this ugly disease.  Bekki, my friend who drove us and organized this event assured Jeanette that we would be getting door to door service and that an elevator would take us to where we needed to go. What a fun evening we had with other survivors and a personal visit to our suite by Steve Yzerman.  


        Since that game we really only shared a couple of lunches together and sent a few emails back and forth but each time we conversed I realized what a great gal this was.  She had been fighting cancer for years but never seemed to let that be an excuse for not living life.  I remember one of our last lunches where she needed the use of her walker and had lost feeling and the use of one of her hands but again, she talked and acted as if life was normal.  She never allowed me to feel sorry for her.  I had wanted to help her cut her food but I didn't even dare to try to interfere with that as she wasn't going to let this cancer take away the seemingly simple task of cutting her food.  We talked about how I was in the midst of redoing my son's room and she told me how she wanted to get to HER son's room to redo.  We talked about getting together with Cheri to start planning our 25th class reunion.  Life, to Jeanette, was a gift everyday that she woke up and she was going to live it to the fullest.  




       We did end up having one more lunch together with Cheri to discuss reunion planning which we had all hoped Jeanette would be able to attend.  It was a nice lunch on a warm, sunny, October afternoon.  Unfortunately Jeanette will not be attending the reunion..  


     Jeanette passed away on Dec 28, 2010.  It was less than two weeks prior I found out Jeanette was in the hospital and I knew I needed to visit her.  I felt in my soul this would be the last time I saw her this side of heaven.   It was a short visit but nothing less than sweet.  Her dad was there when I arrived and he decided to leave when I came.  I will never forget Jeanette's response to her dad when he said he'd be back to visit tomorrow.  She said, "Okay daddy.  Bye daddy.  I love you daddy."  It was very sweet.   A "chemo buddy" was there as well telling Jeanette a story and this friend had nothing but praises to report to me about Jeanette.  I learned so much more about Jeanette in this short ten minute visit that I will treasure.  I gave her a hug and upon leaving she told me to call her if Cheri and I decided to do more planning for the reunion.  So typical of Jeanette.  I prayed a prayer of salvation the next day over the phone with her.  That would be the last conversation we had.




       I attended her funeral on New Year's Eve day, a day where many consider it a celebration of  "out with the old and in with the new.  It seems fitting to have commended Jeanette to God on this day.....I am told we get new bodies when we go to heaven....out with the old and in with the new.  I am confident Jeanette has now received her new, cancer FREE body.....new boobs and all!


                        Jeanette (Zelazny) Kappe  1968-2010     


                        You will be missed my friend.

Not Thinking About it and Just Doing It

We've all been there....made the wrong choice, wrong decision, said the wrong thing to someone and hurt their feelings.  We've done stupid, silly, regretful things and bonk our head AFTERWARD and ask our self, "Why did I do that???", "What was I thinking???"   "If I had thought BEFORE I spoke, or considered the consequence of my choice BEFORE I acted on it, perhaps I would have talked myself out of doing what I now know is wrong."
 
     On the flip side....have you ever had that conviction to do something good such as make dinner for someone in need, send a card to a friend who's going through a tough time, volunteer at the school, hospital, or retirement home.  Maybe you felt you needed to phone a family member you haven't talked to in awhile or run an errand for a neighbor.  Whatever it is I'm sure we've all experienced this conviction of knowing we need to do this deed but for some reason we don't act on it right away (as in when you made that WRONG decision.) Rather, we immediately go into that "excuses" mode as to why we can't act on our conviction and before you know it we've talked our self out of doing that which we should have done.


Example: You're walking into a store and see that cold person, all bundled up, ringing that bell next to the red  Salvation Army kettle and you know you should give SOMETHING but instead of pulling out a buck or some change from your pocket NOW, you say to self, "I'll catch them on the way out."  You do your shopping and spend a tad more than you wanted.  As you head to the exit....there's that bell.  You end up not giving this time because those few dollars in your pocket are begging for that McCafe Mocha you absolutely NEED right now and figure you'll catch the kettle next time.  Guess what?  You just missed a blessing. 


      I've been there a few times in my life....someone is having a surgery and I KNEW I should make them dinner but I talked myself out of it by saying there's no time to go to the store to get the ingredients.  The budget this month just doesn't allow for me to buy extra groceries.  This person has a great family and a church who will take care of them.  Guess what?  God put it on MY heart to bless this family and I blew it for them and I blew for me.  I truly believe I have missed out on so many blessings because I blew my chance.  I talked myself out of doing what I should have done per God.  I now strive to look for those opportunities God puts in front of me and I pray I don't miss them. 

Example:  A couple weeks ago I drove through the Tim Horton's where my son, Chris works.  I've always wanted to pay for the person who sits behind me in drive thru and just drive off but never had the courage to do it for some reason.  This particular day I decided to do it, yet when I got to the window (my son was working the drive thru collecting money), I started to have all sorts of doubts....what if the order is too large and expensive?  What if the workers, better yet, my son think I'm weird?  I decided to just go for it.  After I paid for my coffee I asked Chris how much the person's order behind me was.  He told me $1.60.  I gave him two bucks and told him I was paying for her order.  He was baffled and the woman working with him just smiled and said, "It's so good to know there are such nice people out there still."  I told my son to tell the woman behind me that the customer ahead of her has taken care of her order.  I did not tell anyone I did this.  The only people who knew about this incident were my son, the woman working with him and the woman whose coffee I paid for.  I have been taught not to boast in your good works and to let God reward you for your deed for as to boast to someone is your own reward.  Good enough.  Here's where the story gets good.  My stop at Tim Horton's was en route to Bed Bath and Beyond.  Silly me forgot the hundreds of coupons (exaggeration, of course) I have at home for this store.  A worker asked me if I needed help with anything.  I said, "Yeah, I need a coupon since I forgot all of mine at home!"  He politely said to bring the receipt back with the coupon and they'll give me a price adjustment.  To me that was too much work but figured I may do just that.  Standing in line in front of me at the checkout was a woman holding a handful of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.  She kept staring at me and the item I held and after a few minutes finally asked me if I needed a coupon.  Yep, there was my blessing. Times three!  God blessed me above and BEYOND what I sowed.  Granted it was only five dollars off my order but was THREE times what I gave earlier in the day!  And to think, I almost talked myself out of paying for this woman's coffee.  (Too bad her order wasn't like ten bucks or something! (Just kidding!) 

          Now, I'm not saying we are to do these things for the sole purpose of getting something in return but certainly, we reap what we sow.  Ask the farmer, he'll tell ya.  Sow a little, get a little.  I truly believe God WANTS to bless us and I am finding out I CANNOT out give God.  Do I give because I expect God to bless me?  Yes I do because God knows my heart and motives!  Do I give because I expect God to bless me the way I want and when I want to be blessed?  Nope!  It's up to HIM to bless in HIS perfect time.  He knows what I need and when I need it.  I will never know who that woman was in drive thru but perhaps just maybe she'll pay it forward to someone else someday and voila, some else being blessed.  

        The reason I share this story is because Dennis (hubby) one day came home from his men's group and shared with me something he "took" from his group that day.  He said so many people are doing God's work but aren't talking about it.  I told him I believe many don't talk about it for the same reason I don't talk about it...ya don't want to sound boastful.  He explained, "The problem with NOT sharing (at least every now and then) is that we don't know how people's lives are being changed because of God.  If people don't hear about God, how are they going to believe in Him?"  That's when I decided to share my Tim Horton's and Bed Bath and Beyond incident with him.  I bet almost anything the woman at Bed Bath and Beyond who gave me a coupon experienced the same thing at one point in her life and someone offered her a coupon and now she paid it forward. 


Obviously some things SHOULD be kept between you and God but bottom line is, big or small, no deed goes unnoticed by God.  And to the person you are ministering to?  Well, you may never know how huge of an impact you made on their lives because you didn't think about it and you just did it! 


(By the way, had you put that money in the Salvation Army Kettle that day, who is to say God wouldn't have put someone in your life later in the day to bless YOU with a coffee or a McCafe mocha?)


                   Have a great day all!

Ask and it Will be Given to You

So I say to you, Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.  Luke 11:9

After last year's diagnosis of breast cancer, thoughts of doing some sort of breast cancer fund raising walk definitely weighed on my mind.  Of course never having done something like that before and not knowing even where to begin, I just didn't pursue it and really had no inkling to pursue it since it is totally out of my comfort zone.  Well, along comes Kim, a fairly new friend of mine whose son is in Matthew's grade, who just HAS to ask me if I ever considered doing an Avon Walk and that she was going to register to walk the one in Chicago even if she did it by herself but would love to have me join her.  I don't know Kim very well yet but enough to know that this is something totally out of her comfort zone as well.  I didn't give her a yes or no answer right away.  I knew deep down this was an adventure that would probably be very rewarding but I also was looking for excuses NOT to do it because I was nervous.

I did what I know how to do best, I sought God's opinion.  I prayed and prayed asking Him if this is something I should do, NEED to do.  I honestly did not get a clear cut answer which absolutely perturbs me sometimes (God?)!  Lol!  What I've learned though through my prayer life is that sometimes the answer is a clear cut no.  Sometimes it is yes.  Other times not now and in this particular case, God didn't have a clear cut answer.  I believe He would be okay with whatever decision I made.  He wouldn't be disappointed with me if I chose NOT to do the walk and I knew He would be there should I decide to participate.

So, it was decision making time.  I knew the longer I waited to say yes (if that indeed was going to be my answer) I needed to do it soon because I needed to raise money.  Finally, I made the decision to walk.  But then the realization of what you just did hits.  OMGoodness!  39.3 miles in two days????   Raise $1800????  Chicago????  Again, God, you're gonna have to help me out.  Somehow, someway this money will be raised.  Those who can give will give, right? 

I registered to walk Sunday night.  I don't even have my materials yet.  I set up my online donation page Monday morning.  I decided to raise my fundraising goal to $2000.  Today is Tuesday morning.  I have donations totaling $1100 already.  This is NOT my doing.  This is GOD working!  This was me and Dennis ASKING God for help and look what happens.... friends and family who are able are starting to step up to the plate!

But, I'm not there yet.  Kim and I are doing this together.  I am enclosing both her link and mine.  Since it's what God tells us to do, ask and it will be given to you, this is me asking for your support.  If you feel compelled to give, even if only $5.00, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart!  If financially you aren't able then will you consider praying for Kim and me as we embark on this adventure?

Teresa's Avon Breast Cancer Walk Page

Kim's Avon Breast Cancer Walk Page